Back in the winter of 2014 I first came across a series of writing prompts by Galina Krasskova. I thought, and still think, that the questions are very useful for articulating what it is each of us believes in. At the time, I was too unsure and my path too unformed to set about seriously trying to answer those questions. Now, over a year later, I’m still unsure but I get the feeling I need to do the work in a real, public way…stumbles and bumbles and all. I don’t know if it’s for my benefit, someone else’s, or the Thousand Gods…but it’s something I feel driven to do.
I’ll be doing these at my own pace, mixed in with a dozen or so other writing series I’m doing. Eventually, as I get closer to being ready to publish my book, Venacia, I’ll likely make another site purely for religious discussion and much of this will be cleaned up and stitched together over there for easier reading…but for now, this suits me just fine. Here I go, then:
1. “What wealth have the divinities brought into your life?”
My greatest fear is being alone…absolute and complete rejection of everyone and everything that I love. It’s one of the reasons being public about my faith is so terrifying to me. What would I do if everyone close to me decided I was “too crazy” or “too much work” and that they’d be better off without me? I will always have the Gods, but I also have a deep need for physical contact and the warmth of a person beside me. Now that you understand that about me, you can begin to understand how profoundly grateful I am when I say that the Thousand Gods have never allowed me to remain alone.
There have been times in my life when I lost friends and loved ones and became irrationally angry that stores don’t stock complete table settings for groups smaller than four. These times have lasted a day, maybe two, before I came into contact with an unlikely person who needed my help. Even when I walled myself off from the world and refused to go outside, convinced as I was that there was nothing out there for me…I would have strange dreams of old friends from years and years ago who I had lost contact with calling me and sitting quietly with me on the phone. That day or the day after, I would receive a call from that person and we would reconnect as if no time at all had passed.
There are numerous other things, of course…I always seem to find or be given money (or ways to make it) when I need it most. Since I first began praying to the Gods years ago I have never known hunger, always seemed to find things which were lost, and rediscovered my passion for writing. My blessings are too many to count or do justice here.
I am not wealthy, it is true. There are things I want to accomplish…raising up a temple to the Thousand Gods, building a food garden for my city, adopting children, starting a Pagan school…that I am unable to do at present due to lack of funds. Perhaps that’s not such a bad thing, however…it may be that I am simply not yet ready for these things. Maybe the Gods are keeping me just a little bit hungry to encourage me to continue to better myself and seek out creative ways to accomplish my goals. I do not know. What I know is that I am blessed with so much already, and that I am thankful.